© Ice | Dreamstime Stock Photos

© Ice | Dreamstime Stock Photos

Fair Warning: This article refers to some real life situations that some might find offensive. 

Men and women are different in the way they go about their doctors’ appointments. Without overgeneralizing, my male patients prefer to handle their clinic appointments without much of fanfare.

They pretty much want “just the facts please.” Every now and then, I run into a male patient that outtalks me-  that’s a tall feat I tell you.

My female patients tend to be relationship focused. We talk about our respective attires.  “I just love your earrings”, “where did you get that lovely purse?”

We talk about their kids, their partners, the boss that drives them crazy yet still find time to address the core reason that prompted the clinic visit.

When I see a male patient with his wife in attendance, an alarm bell goes off in my brain – there are definitely issues to talk about.

Men would often minimize their symptoms and put off seeking medical care when they need to; trying to appear macho and the lady of the manor has had enough of that and marches him to the doctor’s to provide “emotional support.”

The topic that comes up frequently during those wife-in-attendance clinic visits is the issue of sex or the lack of it. The lady-of-the-manor has had enough of mister’s shall we say; wimpy wiener.

Those TV ads for the “blue pill” (Viagra) don’t help. She is here in the office to get the stuff below the belt fixed ASAP.

Way to go girl!

The “blue pill” or one of it’s clone is prescribed by yours truly and a potential catastrophe in the bedroom department is hopefully averted, maybe a marriage is even saved in the process, who knows?

The Private Affairs Series: Get answers to those women’s health questions you’ve been too shy to ask your doctor.

Everyday for a week, get answers to these women’s health questions and much more;

1.Why am I always wet “down there”?
2.How to tell if that discharge is a sexually transmitted infection
3.What the color of your poop says about you
4.How to never need adult diapers
5.How shaving could make you sick

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About the author

Avatar photo

Dr. Bola

Family physician. Works for the "man" by day, wife & mom 24/7.
Loves the work of translating "medicalese" to plain english.


  • I started going with my husband to his doctor’s appointments because I knew he wasn’t underscoring that he had a problem with his heart. He died, unexpectedly, on Christmas Day four years ago of a heart problem. Two weeks before, as he was leaving for his run on our ranch, he said he’d been getting dizzy, and if he wasn’t back in 30 minutes, to come looking for him. When I said he needed to get it checked out, half joking he said, “Remind me not to tell you things like that anymore.” Christmas Day, when he was five minutes late… I just knew….

    • Reading you comment just cut through me. How devastating! He was clearly concerned about the symptoms he was feeling but didn’t want you worried at the same time.

  • You are so right! I took my husband to the doctor the other month when he came home complaining of all the symptoms that scream “heart attack!” Fortunately he was cleared and healthy, but you bet I was the one prompting the doctor. Yee gads!

    • Men can’t even fathom what good caring wives do to keep them alive. Thanks for dragging him in to see his doctor and advocating for him.

  • I have suggested my husband write down his questions and he conveniently forgets. He also told me he just lies to his doctor! So this spring when he broke his ankle and fractured his leg from a fall I went to the appointments with him. I was acting like a school hall monitor but a broken and fractured limb was new to both of us and not being spring chickens, well he actually was glad I went!

    • Way to go Haralee! I actually had one male patient confess to giving his wife (who was supposedly driving in from her work) a wrong appointment time so that he would be done with his visit with me by the time she makes it to the clinic. She was going to bring up health issues he had no interest confronting just yet.

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