Partner abuse

Image credits by Zorah Olivia via Flickr

You’ve made excuses over time but you can no longer deny the fact that you are in an abusive relationship. You are grappling with what to do after this acknowledgement to yourself.

Looking outside in, it’s easy for the rest of us to say pack up and leave but the fact is that those decisions are a lot more complex and difficult to arrive to.

There are the pragmatic concerns of “How would I be able to cope on my own financially if I leave?” and “the kids need their father”.

Then there is the “what would people think of me” fears and “how do I explain it to my kids, my parents and my friends”.

There is also an abundance of self loathing and guilt going through your mind. “If only I didn’t anger him so much?”, “why do I seem to only attract people who hurt me and take advantage of me?”

There is no blueprint for tackling abusive relationships. If your life or the life of your child is endangered, you should seek safety, which could translate to leaving the relationship. The financial support is of no use to you if you are six feet under.

If you however have a contrite partner who is sincere and willing to seek professional help him manage his rage, maybe the relationship is worth salvaging.

Just know that you are no one’s punching bag.

Dr. Bola

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